Gangnam Style

Taught class numero cautro today. My first 6AM. Wow, couldn't sleep most of the night, thought I would miss the alarm. Decided to just get up at 4:30AM and get on with it. OK, so the students that attend the 6AM are ripped up. The energy in the room was complete dedication and concentration. No messing around. My throat went dry during Eagle. Drank a little water and felt better. Got a hair in my mouth at one point and couldn't talk. Wierd.... All in all, good class. Didn't sweat nearly as much. Good thing because the teacher sweating more than the students just isn't right. Enjoyed the class. Numero cinco tomorrow. Just returned home from a nice long road trip. Portland, Oregon to Seattle, Washington to Tri-cities, Washington back to Boise. Me and my dog Piccolo, Gangnam Style. Was able to practice in three different towns. Loved going in and saying, "Hi I'm a teacher from Boise". Good times.

A look back

I'm in Portland, Oregon. Spent the night with my brother Chris best friend Tim and his wife Alex. Portland just has vibe about it that says "I'm sexy and I know it" without trying. Like it here. I'm on my way to Seattle to visit my sister and friends. Last night I talked about the events leading to my divorce because Tim and Alex really wanted to understand. I told them how I felt the day I left for TT. My car was packed and I was LA bound. I told them that as soon as I drove out of my driveway I knew that I never wanted to come back. And I never did. The farther away I got, the more free I felt and that feeling has never left me. The house represented a lot of sadness, loneliness, heart ache, confusion and isolation. I didn't leave the people in the house behind. I still have an amazing bond of love with my children, who I cherish. My ex-husband and I didn't have any sort of bond that meant anything. I guess a bond of friendship. Lots of isolation however felt by each of us. Alex recalled how as a child she grew up in a loveless marraige. As a adult, she felt very confused about marraige and relationships. Her sister is not married at 38. Her passion about living a life that represents YOU was beautiful. She and her husband are committed to this pursuit. Anyway, enough looking back. I taught my third class yesterday. It was great. Really great. Happy

Mirror Image

It might be a yoga term to say, "I'm your mirror, reflecting what you need back to you". Not sure. Maybe it's just a left over New Age phrase? In any event, I've heard it A LOT lately. I've heard it so often that I thought I would punch the next person who said it to me in the face. Seriously, this is not a joke, I was at a party the other day and a STRANGER told me that they were my mirror. Really!!! Is this necessary? I taught my second offical class yesterday. Not bad. I had a couple moments of panic. One was during Standing Head to Knee. I had five students in the class and at one point nobody was doing the posture, at all. I was still saying the dialoge, but everyone was either standing, resting or looking disgusted. Kind of scared the shit out of me. But figured out, with the help of Jamie, that the reason I felt that way was because I was totally disconnected with what was happening in the room. I felt the disconnect and it bothered me. It was a really good teaching leason for me. I don't need to get scared, just back it up and slow it down. Teach to what's happening in the room at the time, so that students are not injured and continue to be connected. The energy in the yoga room is so powerful that you can feel what is going on, even if your eyes are closed, I bet.

Bad Neighborhood

At my new favorite hide away, Sol Bakery, on Hill Road in Boise, Idaho. In the loft so I can smell the sweet and savory productions being made by hand downstairs and spy on customers coming in. There's a massage therapist arriving shortly to provide free chair massages. (just told) So, pretty much found my nirvana for the moment. Then off to take Julie Grants FIRST YOGA CLASS today at noon. I went to TT with Julie. We were both battling it out to be the "offical LAST teacher to teach". So, we both struggled a lot with the dialoge, who the hell cares... It is what it is and I guess that's what it is, isn't it? So, I had a bunch of funny things to share but I think for another day. Feeling good, happy. Getting OUT of my head. Someone said at TT, to get OUT of our heads because it's a bad neighborhood. Couldn't agree more....

End Game

Ok so here it is... The big one... I finally, finally taught my FIRST yoga class infront of real, live, paying students yesterday. Wow, thank goodness. Many, many, many people, most of all me, are relieved. Geeez you would think that I was preparing to climb Everest. The class was good. I was told too expect to be really bad, in order to manage my expectations. And it turned out good. I was OK. I made it through. Nobody died, nobody was injured, no fainting (I was most worried about myself). But I did it and I'm very happy. It only took going through a grueling 9 week teacher training, one month in hiding from my life in SoCal, one intervention, one divorce, three residence moves and a whole lot of sweat and tears to get to the end, teaching a class. I used to joke around, after TT, that at least I knew what my sexual orientation was through it all. Happy to report that I'm still a woman. I know that I'm going to love teaching. I'm proud of myself. I'm excited to teach more. Next class should be in about a week, or week in a half. So, ya people, I did it. Done... next...

Pieces of Gratitude

I had a thought during final savasana yesterday. Just finished a gruelling practice by Jordin a regular teacher at Darlinghurst studio, in Sydney, AU. Jordin is from Great Falls, MT but is living in Sydney on a year visa. Teaching 10-15 a week and taking everyday. The room was HOT, I was set up right in front of the floor heater (oops), thus my head on fire most of time. Lots of yogis/yoginis, I would say 60 easy. Sometimes you need a really HOT and hard practice to breakthrough again. Push yourself to the point where you have nothing left to give. THEN, that's when you're rewarded with the final savasana and the brain and body relax and open. I thought about my journey, so far, after TT. The confusion I felt at TT, the subsequent divorce, the struggle to teach, the effect of my actions on others, especially my children.... It's all been tough but I had a revelation that I have become someone, now, that I always admired. There's a family I know, where the parents both have a easy spirit and an sense of adventure. Kindness and compassion towards others and the world. They follow their heart and not always their brain, even though both are highly accomplished physicians. I looked up to them, because I wanted to acquire a sense of freedom and peace that they portrayed. I realized yesterday that I have started making this my own reality. I wanted to be open, compassionate, a student of the world, someone not stuck, but free to follow my hearts desire to contribute to the world in a personal way. Freedom of your own soul leads to peace. The pieces are coming together. I'm grateful.

Leading during The Storm

I've been practicing Bikram yoga for a little over four years now. During that four year time frame, I have been a "stay at home mom". I worked for a couple Pharmaceutical companies, Abbot Labs and Novartis, in sales before that. I bring this up because I haven't really been out in the "working world" since starting my practice. This past weekend was the first time I was in a leadership role, had 30 people reporting to me over the Festival weekend. The festival was put together, last minute, fast and furious by a wonderful person, Mary Hurja. I met Mary, by chance, (if you believe in chance, I don't) three weeks before the festival. She planned a massive festival and needed a lot of help. The reason I bring this up is because I'm often asked how yoga has effected my life. Changes that I have experienced from the way my mind or body felt before Bikram. This last weekend really gave me some concrete data to help answer that question. I felt that I was "in the zone" all weekend, in terms of performance. I haven't had people directly report to me before, but I found that it was seamless and the answers to multiple problems, "situations", or just making decisions came very naturally to me. People responded extremely well and soon staff that I didn't have any responsibilities for started asking me for answers as well. I can bring this back to yoga. I had one woman who was involved with the festival from the beginning tell me, multiple times, that I was so calm and collected and organized throughout. She couldn't believe it. In the mist of a shit storm, I was calm and dealt with multiple issues at once, with nearly perfect outcomes. That is yoga. Bikram yoga calms the mind, teaches you how to breath again, and understand yourself better. I was told after the festival ended that I'm a natural leader. That meant a lot to me, because prior to starting yoga, nobody would have said that to me. So, people.... do your yoga!!! It's hard, but you will see so many positive changes!