Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Tonight I'm going to see Michael Franti and Spearhead. Looking forward to a fun night out with friends. My daughter, Stella, started third grade this week. She's a sweetheart. Stella is so happy school is back in action. She just watched "We bought a Zoo" for the first time a few days back. She kept playing the end of the movie over and over again. Really liked it. About how the Dad met the Mom. The Dad basically walks by a cafe window and sees the Mom sitting inside. He decides that he can use 20 seconds of courage to go in and talk to her. He says to her, "why would you, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, ever want to talk to a guy like me?" and she says "Why not?" and smiles. End of movie. Stella loves it and has been saying "Why Not" to a lot of things now. It's cute. Why not, exactly. Yoga has been good. My body aches on the right side. I do sooo much yoga but I'm still stiff at the beginning of every class. You would think that the muscle fibers would just give up after a while and stay loose. Not a chance. I'm planning to stay in town for Labor Day week and practice dialoge like a crazy woman. My "interview" class is Sept 8th. Yoga, Yoga, Yoga Why not???
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Last night was the "Focus on Children" required workshop in the state of Idaho for formal divorce or separation. Imagine, going to the courthouse along with about 40 other "soon to be divorced" citizens. All sitting together in the same room. Ackward. Strange beyond belief. Many came with their spouse. I did. I kept looking around the room at peoples nonverbals. It made me feel sad, so I stopped. The class was actually pretty good. I like that they incorporated a lot of clinical data and gave advise/information based on results of scientific studies. Outcomes where they saw a benefit to children. One of the most important things the grief counselor said was that male children have a 350% higher chance of becoming involved in drugs, alcohol and the law if they are repeatedly exposed to parental conflict. (meaning fighting) This was the same statistic for divorced parents and intact parents. (250% for females) We didn't fight, really ever, in our ten year marriage. I think we should have more, in a healthy way, but that's the past. (and I promised JT that I will refrain from mentioning him directly in my blog) Stella attended the kid portion of the workshop, separate from us. She said she liked it. Liked talking to the kids, ate 6 pieces of pizza and made a bracelet. She seemed good. Enough of that. Yoga update: I scheduled my "interview class" with Jamie. Sept. 8th. Looking forward to it. I'm ready. Toes on the line.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
So I deleted my last two blog submissions. Poor judgement on my end? I'm like the queen of bad judgement. Some people have said to not put my personal thoughts out in the vernacular because it will come back to haunt me later. I think that is true, but I'm going to haunt myself if I don't. This is my therapy. My way of getting things out of my system. Some people may be concerned but seriously, if you have been reading my blog, then you know that I have a very sarcastic, tongue in cheek, sense of humor. I don't feel or act like most people. My brother Gabe said it pretty well one day, a couple years back, after some type of debauckle I was in, "Naomi say what we all think". Becoming a yoga instructor has been a dream of mine for some time. What happens in the yoga studio is a very personal thing. What people feel on the mat is their own. They make it happen for themselves. The yoga teacher, heat, room,studio and the asanas are just a medium to make that mind/body connection happen. It doesn't matter who the teacher is. It doesn't matter what the room looks like. It doesn't matter what color your fancy yoga mat is or that your wearing the latest super cool Onsie hotpants. (but you look good) What does matter is the consistency, dedication, openess and willingness to try. Try a little harder, go a little deeper each time. That is what makes the difference in someones life. I hope that everyones practice is evolving. That is what I hope for most. Because when that happens the world changes, for the better, in a small way that can have a big impact. Today is my birthday. Birthday 41. Also my daughter Hollys birthday too Birthday 4. It's a beautiful thing. She's such a sweetie. Stella, my other daughter turned 8 yesterday. Lots of birthdays. Lots to celebrate. My goal for year number 41 is 1. Starting teaching in Boise. 2. Travel to France during the summer (again) 3. Teach BHY in Nice, France 4. Show Stella Paris 5. Teach kids yoga at Womens and Childrens Alliance (local womens shelter) 6. Spend time with people I love and love me. 7. Keep writing throughout
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I wonder what Lennys* is up to these days. Good ole Lenny. I only knew him for a few minutes but I miss him. Hmmmm.... So I have a birthday coming up. I turned 40 last year. My goal was to attend Bikram Teacher Training. Check that box. My goal for year number 41 is to actually START teaching here in Boise. It's been a rough couple month, but now that the dust is settling, time to get on with it. I teach a practice class to a couple students and teacher tomorrow. We'll see how much Bikram College of India, dialoge from HELL(Turkmenistan**) I can recall. Just relax, breath. Go and touch the mirror. TOUCH IT!!! I miss training. They (the staff and visiting teachers) said that we would. They were right. I miss sitting in the back of the class listening/laughing/sleeping. I miss the energy in the yoga room. I miss practicing yoga with 450 other dedicated yogis. Miss that a lot. Snap back to reality... the weather here in Boise has been brutally hot. Triple digits nearly everyday since I have returned. I never stop sweating, ever. I have used my sweat glands so much in my 40 years that I can say now I no longer smell. "Can you believe it"?(sorry, Bikram quote - had to do it) It's true. Well, 90% of the time. The other 10% I swear to god that I smell like a horse. *Lenny - Dog/Guru. See previous posts ** you know who you are
Top 3% in America to bottom 3% in the same America. It didn't take long either. 3000 Square foot home in the Burbs to 300 square foot apartment in the "city". Hmmmm. This is what it must feel like to reside in NYC. A NYC walkup, no doubt. Seriously, I'm thinking about using my oven for extra shoe space. Crazy times. My apartment isn't exactly 300 SQ FT, I would say the entire place is the size of my previous master bedroom including bath/closet area. So that means I just shoved a kitchen/living room/dining room and hallway into my old bedroom size-wise. Getting creative with space is something I can do apparently. Succeed in a marriage between a man and woman, not so much. I left all my furniture behind, home behind, husband behind. I'm retaining my two beautiful children (50/50 custody)and my dog Piccolo. Start please.... Looking at my life now is a complete trip. I don't like drugs, but I kind of feel like I'm living in a psychadelic drug like state. Not sure where reality starts or stops. Reality. Getting real? What was "real"? Was my life before TT real? Was it a big fucked up mess? Who really knows. What I do know is that I like Carl Jung. I like him a lot. That guy had a interesting view on life and human behavior. Pretty radical, pretty cool. I bet he did yoga. Hot yoga, no doubt.
Its been a few months since graduating from Bikram TT. A few months and a life unraveled. I'm waiting to enroll in the "Adjusting To Life After BTT 101" class. Pretty sure it doesn't exsist. I'm living it. Life after TT has been exhilarating, fast paced, increadibly slow, confusing, depressing, happy, sad... all the emotions a human being can feel. I guess the fact alone that I have felt so many emotions is important. Life evolving, life changing... Since graduating from TT in Los Angeles, I stayed in the "City of Angeles" as long as possible. My extended family had to eventually do a intervention in order to get me back to Boise, Idaho. I sensed something was up that day. I started getting messages about meeting for dinner, and another about what time I would be back and another about dinner again. When I arrived earlier than expected, I saw my Mother and Sister in Law sitting at the table, deep in conversation which immediately stopped as soon as they saw me. You know that nervous energy people emit? Well, they had it oozing out of every pore. They jumped up and started cleaning or something. I was so emotionally drained at that time that I decided not to think too much about it. Little did I know that my entire family had been on a conference call earlier that day discussing everything Naomi. The good, bad and the ugly. I think it was mainly about the ugly. Anyway, long story short, I started driving back to Boise the next day. Mother in tow. Back to my life, fillled with dread and apprehension. I was returning to a life that I felt didn't reflect me at all. I knew that before I left for TT, I knew it years ago. Time to face the music. In more ways than you can imagine. My blog going forward is my way of understanding my life through writing. Read if you like, it's not going to be pretty but I promise that it won't be boring. It will hopefully be funny. When given a chance to laugh or cry, I choose to laugh. It's the same emotion more or less just different.